|Posted on September 18 with 404 notes||Reblog|
Anecdotes by medical practitioners"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”
"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”
"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”
"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”
"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”
"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”
"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”
“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”
|Posted on September 18 with 294,726 notes||Reblog|
there’s a huge difference between “let people do what they choose with their bodies” and “let those 12 year olds have irresponsible sex”
its been 2 days and this has like 50k notes and i’ve only received like 5 hate messages about this u go tumblr u growin up
|Posted on September 18 with 399,486 notes||Reblog|
|Posted on September 18 with 314 notes||Reblog|
|Posted on September 18 with 210,775 notes||Reblog|
Season 1, episode 8: “Bugs”
7 years later:
OH MY GOD
HOLY SHIT I NEVER NOTICED THAT
|Posted on September 18 with 36,591 notes||Reblog|
School and Tumblr photoset
|Posted on September 18 with 51,354 notes||Reblog|
It’s days like this that I like to remember that the Irish government are ever proud of the Spire of Dublin.
It’s literally a 400 ft metal spike sticking out of the ground. It was supposed to be done for the new millennium but they didn’t start building it until 2002.
And it’s supposed to be self-cleaning but it doesn’t work and there’s no way to clean it.
It seriously is the best thing if you are ever in Dublin and are lost
|Posted on September 18 with 68,753 notes||Reblog|
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|Posted on September 18 with 42,419 notes||Reblog|
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
|Posted on September 18 with 1,018,496 notes||Reblog|
I relate to this on a spiritual level
|Posted on September 18 with 6,981 notes||Reblog|
Imagine though when you find your soul mate and the happens
this is one of the most beautiful gifs I’ve seen.
No but imagine the school jock and the nerd he beats up every day finally run into each other in the locker room or at a pool or something and their chest start glowing and they both look at each other and just go “Oh fuck no.”
It was always the same every day…
The guy would come to beat me up over a tiny, stupid whim.
I wish my day would change from that.
"Ready for another lesson??"
"Y-Your chest it—"
"That means we’re—-"
I ASKED FOR A CHANGE, BUT THIS IS NOT WAS I WAS LOOKING FOR.
LMFAO welp this is how I imagined it. ENJOY
|Posted on September 18 with 534,739 notes||Reblog|
an ancient and terrible curse.
Oglaf makes my fucking life better.
No but it is so so important that you know what happens next:
this is the best
Oglaf is a blessing from the gods.
|Posted on September 18 with 50,582 notes||Reblog|
I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard
WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK
when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟
every villain is lemons
And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.
And now: The Weather.
|Posted on September 18 with 328,810 notes||Reblog|